looking to heaven when it's hard to keep your head up
An architectural history tour guide once explained to me how some of the best design features are toward the top of each building. If you want to see beauty, you look up.
It’s funny they encouraged me to always look up when, on any other occasion, I would much prefer to keep my head down. It’s less anxiety-inducing and gives me a chance to hide.
Throughout college, I would regularly cross paths with people who once left me traumatized. Every time I saw them, I just wanted to keep my face down, hide from the flashbacks, anxiety, and shame.
I couldn’t face how much of myself I once gave in exchange for attention or approval.
Emotionally speaking, forcing my chin up toward a smile would mean ripping out the stitches before they could heal as a scar and, in the end, exposing my wounds.
I didn’t want to heal. It seemed too sunshine and rainbows. And, besides, things were much easier and cushy on the side of self-pity.
I could only use the current circumstances to conceal the healing I desired for so long. I needed to look up to heaven. but I first needed to learn how.
Looking to heaven isn’t concealing pain in the name of “courage”. It’s stepping into the humility to be free in the Spirit, no matter the circumstances.
The Two-Verse Testimony of Anna
Luke 2:36-38 tells of a girl named Anna married young and lost her husband seven years later. I don’t know about you, but I cannot grasp the emotions of being widowed at a young age. I’d want to curl up in a dark room with my head down and never come out. There’s a reason embarrassment never looks itself in the eye. Anna was probably expected to keep her head down and find a new husband, but she had a different plan to follow a different calling that would set her apart.
Anna had already heard prophecy about a Messiah, and that hope drove her to a life in prayer. Sixty-two years later, she got to witness the presentation of baby Jesus to the temple.
I bet many of us would go crazy and give up after not seeing our prayers answered within a month. It’s ok for us to admit that Anna made us look bad.
Anna understood that a life with God was costly in ways that reaped infinite reward. While she may have seemed crazy for not wanting to go with the cultural norm, God saw her as a faithful servant. And in that process, she got to taste heaven.
Being formed by what the world has done to you hides the authenticity He created in you.
When we look to heaven, we’ll appreciate the beauty of who God made us to be.
“This is great and all, but my life still sucks”
You might not be wrong. Thank God the gospel doesn’t gaslight. It’s the realest thing out there.
God’s all about reality. In fact, He is reality. Jesus paid the price for everything we do under the hazy eyes of sin to reconcile our hearts back in tune with the One who created what is real.
Circumstances might not change, especially if we’re talking about grief. But looking to your Creator deepens your understanding on how you, specifically, are meant to process.
Does physical touch matter to you feeling supported?
Do you make better progress decompressing alone? Do you need to verbally process with a loved one?
What’s your creative outlet?
It is true that we are not meant to walk through hardship alone, but what happens in this life is between you and God. Only He knows the ways you have been perfectly suited to rely on Him.
Look up to God and you’ll see the blueprints of how He’s called you to walk this life.
Drinks I’ve been loving
Lately, I’ve been craving mango cold brew from Bright Coffee in San Antonio (specific, I know). Fruit-based coffee is always a toss up for me, but, I am excited for strawberry matcha season to be back.
Song of the week
So many great songs were released the last two weeks. It’s been hard to pick!!
Podcast of the week
Book of the week
Gathering Blue by Lois Lowry- Yes, I am delving into fiction. It’s the same writer of The Giver so she keeps the utopian theme going. I miss innocent, thought-provoking fiction literature.
If you also like fiction books without romance, comment your recommendations.