insecurity vs in security
a conversation on mental exhaustion and codependency
The last few weeks, my mind crashed from exhaustion (again). This wasn’t my first rodeo, yet it’s funny how each time it comes around I try to make excuses. Anything but my human limitations will do. Why would the problem ever involve me? (I really hope you picked up the sarcasm, there)
I didn’t know how my brain could’ve ran toward exhaustion if life hadn’t been overwhelming. I’d had a lot chill work from home days. My family was doing well. Finance and budgeting were doing the best they can. I had made peace with God’s timing of my future and knew the truths I was to cling to.
But the other day, I was reminded that I was still deep in processing about ten year’s worth of codependency, leaving me to work through a lot more than I thought. Codependency gives us double duty. What you try to carry from someone else, you end up adding to yourself.
Now, for clarity’s sake, codependency is funny because it likes to be the definition of carrying one another’s burdens out of selflessness. Really, it’s what happens when you carry those burdens under the impression that:
God values you more than others
God values others more than you
Both aiming to manifest insecurity, these ideas have been carved into our flesh since Adam and Eve desired to attempt a life apart from the security of the giver of life. God allows insecurity to be exhausting that we may experience the same consequences before He mercifully provides a way back to a life of security. In Him, our codependency can be transformed into a holy dependency.
“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has passed away, and see, the new has come!” (2 Corinthians 5:17)
So, in the trenches of healing, the Lord has kindly showed me that unlearning old thought patterns and forging new pathways can lead to constant exhaustion when I’m trying to rebuild my life apart from the security my Creator provides. And the thirst for righteousness that deepens with time in His presence will then spur me on to keep fighting for holiness. In Christ, I have hope.
We want to be secure in where we are. We just look to the wrong places. Some of you may have rolled your eyes at that just now, because that’s how numb we’ve become to what should be one of our biggest heartaches.
In Christ, we are safe. In Christ, we are exactly who and where we’re supposed to be.
drinks I’ve been loving
vanilla oat milk chai- if you learn to make it at home, you’ll save yourself $8…may I suggest Trader Joe’s liquid chai concentrate??
song of the week
podcast of the week
book of the week
Taking God at His Word by Kevin DeYoung- It’s a pretty thin book and works perfectly as a week-long study how the Bible proves itself as the Word of God. Each chapter has its own bible passage, and DeYoung goes into so many necessary conversations surrounding doctrine and theological differences.